


I Welcome Death

by TalkLess



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Arson, Crack Fic, DO NOT READ THIS, Go follow Jeremy_heere_is_queer on ig, Heelies, I had way too much fun writing this, M/M, No Homo, Porn? Kinda? Not at all?, Smut, THERES SMUT JN THE THIRD CHAPTER, The Author Regrets Everything, The Cermet Project, dont read it, im actually in tears please don't read this, im going to hell, relationship drama, unintentional murder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:06:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkLess/pseuds/TalkLess
Summary: Jeremy is just multitaksing when a certain muppet boi coms bye ;)))))))))))))(or, alternatively; Jeremy_heere_is_queer hates me)





	1. Oh god

Jeremy wss watching the muppets "oh yess daddy jkermit please fuck me" he said as he multitasked to the muppets "o lol ur a furry" Anti social heaphonesss kid lsugherd "ill fuck u rn" said kermit who had heelied up to aunt jemimia "pls fuck me daddy kermit but no homo" jenna rolan moanee 

"I thot i was ur no homo buddy :(((((((((((((((((((("  said bob Marley "haha bitch u thot" jermey said while kermit sucKed his dick but it wasnt like,,,,,, gay or anything "Ha gay" bitch oranski saed while literally fuckinh burning jeremys house down "o no lets not die how about"said jeremy and desdass leaped out of the fucking  wimdow like bitch what the fuck with kermit in his arms. 

"O kermit my sweat froggo pls be breath" Germy begged with emotions buildinh in his eyes but he was also lowkey still horny.  Kermit woke up o yay and then he was like "i cnst lov u anymire jarmy" "o why not :(" "because i love another man"

"Who is it ill fucking fight hjm" and jared fucking kelinamn walked iver there wearing croc heels(tm) and jeremy was lkke how csn i compete with that :(( and then they fucking battled it out "im still leaving u Gerard" "but im pregnat" "haha lol sucks for u furry ass" jermey broke down in tears but they were hapy cause kermit kisseed him and tohey put the thing in the thing and rich watched from a corner.


	2. Listen; im sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good god rj, what is your damage? Idk but sprry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAH U THOUGHT THIS WAS THE LAST UD SEE OF ME

Kermiy wus datjng peppa th pig, but he still lovrd jeronimina. Oh shit. So he broke up wiht sharpig and she cried a lot and sabg a song. "Shut up thjs isnnt a boradwah musicql u binch" "oh:(" so hs went to Jerry meh's hom but he gaspd in shock. Jeremy was being gay with michale 

"Um pardin me u dirty hoe" said rock whoreanski who was wathcing them be gay "jeremh is acitually bisectul fite me"

"Jerem isnt a bicycle hes a FURRY get it right u lying ass fuck" reponded kurtmit 

"I amn nit a fury stop cyber bulling bpme" sed jere-furry whl was trying to hid hes fursuit from his muppet lovef 

"I hate the world" siad Suqick and honestly same

"Fucc me in the ass cause i lov jesus" new jersey moannned into the abyss

"IM AN ATHETIHEST U CHRIDTIAN HOE"

"IM ONLY A WHORE FOR JESUS SO GET THE FUNCK OUT U BINCH"

and Germy Hands puchshhsidned Tea frog and mudererd hum 

"o golly gosh darn he's dead how do I life" Vore Master sad to Insecurity And Sarcasm ft. Memes 

"start the Cermet porjetc it wroked gr8 4 Tree Fucker." Said Cronch Man whilst Acorn man sobbed silently in a corner because his life is a fucking mess. Same. 

"No ur stupid" kinky mcgee yodeled but did it anyways because he's a dirty ass Christian hoe

 Then the ghost of Kermit fucking pulled a Heather Chandler and started haunting Jeremy. "Kys" Kermit whispered seductively into Jeremy's ear. And then Jeremy died because he was gay.

"UM PARDON ME U DIRTY HOE JEREMY IS BI-" Rich started but was cut off as the end credits started rolling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely no  
> Don't support me  
> Don't enable me  
> I need a fucking intervention


	3. Smut ;);)))))))))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOBACK NOW  
> DONT READ THIS  
> OH GOD  
> I REGRET THIS  
> It starts out like a crack fic but quucklu devolves into another type of crackfic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY

Jerrrrrreemhyyyyyyyy was fuckin hornh as heck bc he liks tou cing his noodle dic

mmmmmmmgggggghhhhhhhhh daddey I'm a unic-horny he moned intk hte pits of fucking hell which is where the author, who is currently in tears, is going.

"Why can't I just let this fucking thing go." She asked Jerry_Heere_is_Queer on instagram (#SPONSE)

"Bitch idk i came up with this thing and ive let it die." Then "Germy x Cermet is my otp"  whispered into the author, aka literally Satan's, ear.

"WRITE SMUT"

"Fuck yeah my dude lets do this." The author said, tears pouring down her cheeks. Jerry_Heere_is_Queer was crying too now.

Jeremy moaned deeply and erotically as Kermit kissed him on the lips. Then he shoved his dick in Jeremy's mouth. What kind of awkward, hellish, contortionist-esque position were they in? I don't know, figure it out your goddamned selves.

Suddenly Michael Mell burst through the door like a badass. "MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCEEEEEEEEE!" He screeched like a dying pterodactyl.

"Michael!" Jeremy screamed. "You came to watch me have sex?" Michael nodded supportively.

"Even brought Rich!" He said stepping aside to reveal the tiny hobbit man that was Richard Goranski.

"Fuck this shit, I'm out!" The SQUIP cried while chugginh mtn dew red.

And they all lived happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No joke i cried while writing this  
> Shoutout to "Germy x Cermet is my otp" who was an actual commenter who told me to do this, this is all your fault.


	4. Bondagex me saddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking hell  
> This is all jerry_heere_is_queers fault

Kermyt waz playkng wirh leggos and jermeue was like "thats hot af" so Kermdashain made a bomdage ;)))))))

He aas aasohyxiated seadly boot thanjkfully Germany was necrophiliac here and not me because im not a necrophiliac regardless of what i have been accused of so they had sex anyways. "Daddu" kermenyt moammmeds even tho he sas daed 

"Ababsbahuaahhzjjzja" jedmru screm

"Fuckign kill me" said the author and the squip at the same timE

AjsjshjsihnwjmiwjimailjilajM cried michsel, who wsa high. 

Then the entire cast of btr walked in and were the poly icons we all deserve. Jerm got fucked by all of them and filmed ir.

Ned Vizzini was there also, crying and mourning over the his book, which was a great piece of literature thst i have slandered.

Anyways i want 2 fucking die and there is no god


	5. Ya bitch is back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya bitch is back from hiatus and no one cares or rembers me

Jeremt is dead but I am revived  
Thanks this has been a psa I hate myself

**Author's Note:**

> Listen;  
> I dont have an explanation im so sorry


End file.
